Validity

These past few months, I watched myself grow exponentially “better” at my craft, but that ability was simply locked within all along. Once I reached through the void that’s been continuously silencing my long to be creative, my voice finally began to sing into the musical stratosphere.

Getting to know this voice is a daily challenge. There are good days where I revel in the sounds I bring to life with my head held high. There are bad days where I cringe lifting my hands from my lap to the ivory keys, only to pull them back and shake my head in disappointment.

I’m learning to let the fear I perceive exist without infiltrating my creative territory. It’s new—vulnerable—scary. But, being paralyzed by fear is a good sign. It shows you what you have to do. And self-doubt is an indicator of aspiration.

Before I started tuning into to this voice, things were different. My musical moments were dry, trite, stale. My musicking was veiled in grayscale. I wasn’t having good days and bad days, I was having blatantly mediocre days.

I needed to traverse new musical territory. Jazz was my breath of fresh air. In my tiredness, exhaustion, and brokenness, I was tempted to discard classical music altogether. But unbeknown to me, the wrestling was getting me closer to the composer, improvisor, educator, and pianist I want to be. Classical music has and will continue to be an important part of my artistic output.

I saw just that in the process of creating Validity. I perceived classical music to be blocking my path, but in a way, it BECAME the path. Tangibly, the Rautavaara concerto became the harmonic framework for Validity. Symbolically, what had torn down my musical validity became a framework for exercising my musical validity.

Thank you to everyone who helped make Validity happen. All the musicians for joining my adventure. The strings for stepping outside of their comfort zones. Steven Naylor for fueling the flames. Zakk Jones for guiding me in realizing the musician I’ve always dreamed to be.

And for all of you who read these posts of mine! I look forward to sharing more, and I hope you keep tagging along :)

I shall keep creating creatively,

- Maggie

Check out the full recording here! https://youtu.be/mw8Ag8o_a0w